Days go by, getting shorter and shorter, looking the same: foggy kerosene-smelling mornings (although the smell is weaker than usually this year), podcast after podcast, interrupted by maybe a zoom class or some existential dread. Masks, tequila-smelling hand sanitizer (I carried some of it with me before it was cool, it didn’t smell awful like that back then), throwing old plans away and making new ones, while wondering “why bother?”, they’ll crumble down like every other one. Unusual silence. Free time, staring into nothing and wondering when, what, why. Drowning in my pile of to-read-books. For the sake of the atmosphere, please do imagine me writing this in the candlelight in an old squeaky manor, with a quill on some parchment (wuthering heights or some other gothic novel style) and not on my old rundown PC. And let’s pretend I’m not sitting at the absolute mess I call my desk (I tried to go for some chaotic academia vibes, but I just ended up with some academic chaos).
Physical distance. Not going to lie, I’m getting way too comfortable with sitting in my PJs in front of my PC drinking a huge cup of my new favorite tea (green tea flavored with strawberries and champagne, exactly the kind of extra you need to turn any random Tuesday to a fancy one – or Friday? Honestly what is time anymore?). I tell myself I stay home so that people who can’t can be safer, but it’s mostly because I don’t remember when was the last time I had so much free time and I’ve missed it and also where would I go?
But it’s not all pink. Or whatever grayish ugly pink I just described.
The uncertainty. My calendar is basically empty. First time since I started using it. It’s weird. I can tell people “just call me whenever it suits you”, I don’t like it. I like the stress (what can I say, diamonds are made under pressure, yes I just called myself a diamond, I’m trying this new thing where I try to get rid of my inferiority complex). I realize is in total contradiction with what I wrote before, I both love and hate having free time: it’s the coexistence of two opposites or lack of absolute truth, something the facebook-scientists definitely do not understand (should I start bashing on anti-vaxxers now? Also side note, get your flu shot people, let’s not add any more pressure to a health system that’s already at its limits). I’m taking an immunology class this semester, it’s a wild ride. Also ironically one of the very few classes where COVID hasn’t really been mentioned.
So anyways, for this winter I hope for the best and am ready for the worst (well probably not for the absolute worst, but I’m ready for a lot of scenarios). Although I’m sceptic, I doubt a lot of regional or popular races will take place. But honestly right now, as long as I can ski, I’ll take it. I’ve been hitting PBs in every single test I’ve done this year: 12min run, mat test, 1RMs and 10RMs. So it would be cool to at least have a few races to see how that plays out. And I miss skiing, it’s been way too long (actually it’s been two weeks, but you know what I mean).
So I hope you are all keeping positive and testing negative (sadly I did not think of that myself, I read it somewhere and it’s now my favourite 2020 sentence, so you’ll probably hear it often from me), Perini out
PS: in case you were interested, here’s some of the books I’ve been reading lately and that I highly recommend
- The book thief, Markus Zusak: set during WW2, narrated by death, the story of a girl who steals books
- Emma, Jane Austen: a classic, Austen’s wit at its best
- The raven rings series, Siri Pettersen: the story of a badass girl in a rich norwegian-inspired world
- She has her mother’s laugh, Carl Zimmer: genetics made accessible for everyone and also very enjoyable for those who already know a lot about it
- Invisible women, Caroline Criado Perez: women are much more likely to die in a car accident (because until recently, car safety wasn’t tested on female dummies), the hard facts provided by the book will probably make you want to punch a wall, you’ve been warned